Overdone & Bittersweet

This time of year is definitely a time that streaks by. The end of the school year is fast approaching. I am of two minds about this year.

On the one hand, this clan is overdone. My eldest has had 2-4 hours of homework almost nightly, mind you this includes weekends and I am over it. SO OVER IT. It is such an unreasonable amount of work for an eleven year old. Of course he is over it. He started the count down to the end of school at 42 days left. So I am pretty sure he is ready to be moving up and moving on. So are we. Hopefully next year the work load will be more reasonable. I am grateful summer is coming and he can just be a kid again for a bit.

My daughter is done, too. She is AR tested out; on math fact memorizing overload; twisted up over cursive and just plain wiped out. It has been quite a year and she is ready for summer. I am, too.

Don’t get me wrong I was the teacher that took most of my bulletin boards down the day before school let out and I was usually the last teacher to sign out on the last day of school because we worked until the end. Yes, I gave out homework until the last possible day. We were going to learn every minute that I had those sweet kiddos.

So I know teachers, I do. You want to make every minute count. But on the parent side of things; the homework the last few weeks is just one more thing. The kids are exhausted from a ridiculous amount of state testing and everything seems to be due for Open House-A-Rama. There are productions, field days, permission slips, fundraisers, field trips, science projects, poster boards, notes, newsletters, volunteering to the max, and I am sure there are things I have missed. Trying to survive the end of the school year is like trying to play twister one handed while solving a cross word puzzle in another language. Okay maybe not that difficult, but it feels like it right now.

Teachers I love you and I thank you for all that you are doing for my children, but we are done. Burned out to the max and our wallet is empty we just can’t do ONE MORE THING. We will of course keep going because there will be more in the last 8 and half days school; but I might be dragged kicking and screaming through it this year. Even down to the VERY. LAST. DAY.

Take today for example. I asked my daughter to read for an hour because she just has to fit in one more AR test and she acted like I was torturing her with a load of demanding chores. You would really think I ruined her life because that is what she had to do this afternoon. Tapped out. We are tapped out over here.

The bittersweet part comes because this year my two babies will be graduating preschool. In just two short days they will be big kids. No more half days of school or play in the classroom; they will officially be off to full day kindergarten.

No more babies in our house. No more toddlers. No more little kids. They will be big and grown and ready to venture out into the great big world of elementary school.

I am sure that I will be ready as summer nears to a close, but right now I want to slow the clock down for them. I want them to stay little and sweet and innocent for just a few more minutes longer. I want the next two days and this summer to go as slow as possible, even though I know it won’t.

I know I work full time and I will keep busy when they are off in school, but it will just be too damn quiet. I will miss getting to hug them whenever I feel like it. I will miss the sound of their little minion voices talking along through their pretend play and the “mom look at this” every few minutes when they discover something I just have to see.

But the catch is there is no slowing down or going back. With kids it is always moving forward faster than you can handle and some days not fast enough; but somehow despite those days it is still a blur. Still all just a little too fast forward.

All I ever wanted to be was a mom ever since as far back as I can remember. It is what I wanted to be when I grew up. It is what I want to be today. It is the thing I cherish most in this life. I know I will always be their mom and I have many more years where I get to hold them close, but another right of passage is coming. It is bittersweet. I am excited for them and a little heartbroken that another year is sailing by.

This sweet little song hit home today and I thought if you have a little one who is off to school in the fall or you are just a mom or dad you might like this, too.

Each end is just the window to a new beginning. There is so much fun and good to come. This I know.

The memories of these times I will covet and I will continue to be my kids’ biggest fan. I will watch as they soar out into the world creating their own lives and always make sure they know they have a safe place to land back home when they need it.

Big mad love for all of you going through this with me-