Today was my fault…all of it.
Let’s start at the beginning. It was one of the days where I woke up feeling like I was going to crush it. I was dressed, ready, lunches were made on time and my husband was taking all the kids to school. I had my 8:00 team conference call and was set and ready to go.
Of course, during the call I get thrown the loop of speaking because a teammate lost her voice, but that doesn’t throw me because I know the topic and it’s my team I can talk with them without feeling like I am going to screw it up.
Mistake Number 1.
I was too confident.
Some constructive criticism is given about a new feature being developed and I answered in a way that didn’t sound helpful. Then when I asked if there were any other questions the line was silent and I quipped that I scared everyone off because of how I reacted. This is all in fun of course because everyone on my team knows there was no malice behind my response.
But then this starts it off…
The theme of the call quickly turns to everything being my fault. And to be honest this year it has definitely felt like I have had an abnormal number of screw ups and mishaps. I had already been wondering why everything seemed to have so many hiccups…it just seems like each day there is something that goes awry whether professionally, personally, or both.
What kinds of things????
My husband has had a ton of unexpected changes at work.
We have had stomach flu, the flu, and been to urgent care and the emergency room all this year. Mind you 2016 has only included 10 weeks.
I am more forgetful than ever. We had tickets to Disney on Ice with my family – spaced it. Totally forgot. There was a birthday party for one of my son’s very best friend’s tonight – work got crazy, Brian took the care unexpectedly to get tires, I was on the phone the majority of the day and at 7:00 tonight at the end of dinner I remembered that we had the party – which by the way had ended an hour earlier.
Last night I threw a clothes party and the location had been moved. I thought I notified everyone, NOPE. I forgot to tell one person. She went to the wrong place because…yep you guessed it; it was my fault. And that I hurt someone’s feelings, that I had made someone feel so left out just because I can’t keep who I texted and included on the group text straight…it just isn’t okay! Awful…just plain awful.
So tonight as I was feeling like the biggest jerk ever, but trying to keep the perspective that even though I had forgotten things, been sick, and trying to let things go; I walked up the stairs to see dog diarrhea on the landing. Thankfully husband cleaned it up, but still which dog was it? The dog I added to our family of course, so once again it was my fault.
Well the thing of it is I can linger in the bizaster of it all (blizzard + disaster = a big, hug disaster) or I can look at the bright side and say at least I am doing “it’s my fault” well. I mean this is the Shit Storm of 2016 and I am at least surfing through it with a positive attitude so far. If it is my fault at least I am failing big and not little, right. 🙂 That all I can do is try and laugh through it because I can’t change what has happened. I can try to fix things moving forward with apologies and not making the same mistakes again, but I have to keep on the bright side of things right?
So, with all that said I will be wearing this shirt to my next team meeting …
And drinking out of this mug next week…
And setting so many reminders on my stinking calendar that if you pass me I will be buzzing because a reminder will be going off.