Sometimes you don’t get what you want, but you get what you need…

“If you let people break your spirit and detour you from your path, then you have not been true to yourself or those you’re here to touch, those who believe in you.”
― Allison DuBois

I am not a gambler. Taking a bunch of money and betting it on an unknown outcome. UGH! Then coming home with less – PUH-lease – doesn’t that just sound like a good batch of crazy.

I like to have something for the money I spent. Going to the mall for new shoes or out to dinner with a good friend is a much better way for me to spend a good chunk of change. Six months ago, however, I took a gamble. In December, I bought tickets to see Allison DuBois. They were VIP meet and greet tickets. I just had to see for myself if mediums were the real deal.

I know you are just asking yourself, what?! She claims to be a medium how can she wonder if they are real? Well, I do. I have never met anyone else quite like me. My sisters, dad, mom, and grandmothers all had this ability, but no one ever quite like me or at least as completely open about it as I am. So I was curious to see what it would be like to meet another medium.

So for months I have been so excited about going to see Allison. Nervous with anticipation the day slowly crawled up on me. Today I was beside myself with excitement, but did my best to try to play down my emotions. What if I didn’t get a reading? What if she isn’t the real deal – then what?

Well, I am glad I had realistic expectations.

Let’s just start with I did not get read by Allison DuBois. However, the good news is; she is so totally the real deal. When she was reading the people in the room I could sense a lot of the things she was talking about. Her technique, if you will, reminded me so much of myself and I picked up some great pointers.

One of the things I did before the reading started was to write down impressions of what I was feeling from the spirits in the room. First, I knew that a mother was there to connect with her son who had been hit by a car. He was showing my cars in particular a red car.

Second, I knew there was another woman who had lost a child – a son who had died within the last year or so. I picked up some other things as well, but I knew there was a woman there who had an incredibly sad, sad story and needed to be read. She had lost someone violently to an awful death.

Sure enough, the woman sitting in front of me was read by Allison and her son had died. He had been hit by a red car. In fact, Allison had said that she saw him with cars like race cars; just as I had. She also read the woman who I thought had a very sad story and sure enough her daughter had been murdered. Another woman was read whose son had passed 18 months ago.

When the event was over, I was disappointed. I had paid a great deal of money (for me anyway) to go see someone I looked up to; someone who I hoped would confirm that I had this gift as well. I ran into several of the women who had been read at the event in the restroom and in the parking garage and they were just so kind and there was such an air of peace about them. While my logical mind knew they needed to be read much more than I did; there was still some disappointment on this gamble that I had made to meet Allison and have my hopes confirmed.

On the drive home, the one thought that begins my unraveling rippled through my mind –

“You have nothing to offer anyone.”

And so I began to think I just shouldn’t do any of this medium stuff. I should just walk away from it.

As I sat down with my two pieces of Texas Sheet cake to comfort my damaged ego; I flipped on the TV and there it was… “Long Island Medium”. These types of things are not a coincidence. This got me thinking about how when you know something, you just know it. I shouldn’t be looking for third-party validation; I have to believe this in myself to have the strength to be a medium out loud in the open. People are going to be welcoming, but some people are going to call me a fake; a freak or worse. I need to believe this deep in my soul and know that my ability is real.

So I think I got what I needed from my little adventure today – not exactly what I had hoped or wanted, but I got exactly what I needed and that is the knowledge that this gift is real. That I am meant to do this on a large-scale to bring comfort to others. So I know that yet another adventure I am going to embark on in my living out loud journey is that I am going to pursue being a medium. I am supposed to bring comfort to those that are grieving and my gifts should not go unused.

Sometimes our prayers are not answered in the way that we expect, but if we continue to keep our hearts open and listen to our intuition, including the signals around us we will find the answers that we need. I have a great deal of people who believe in me and others who are counting on me that I haven’t even met yet. I just needed to believe in myself all on my own. I had to be at home, if you will, with following my dreams, and I am now. I am at home.

Wishing you luck in finding your own answers,

M