My Real Life

These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It’s good to let you in again
You’re not alone in how you’ve been
Everybody loses, we all got bruises

-Train, “Bruises”

Last night before getting ready for bed, I looked in the mirror and for the first time in a long time I liked what I saw. I thought; you know I appreciate this body – it has carried four children, these are the arms that hug them tight, and the face that greets them each day, this smile is the smile that they help elicit, the wrinkles on my face are smile lines and all of that is what makes me beautiful. And I thought to myself, I think I am finally getting a handle on this joy thing. But before you congratulate me or call BULLCRAP – I am going somewhere with this.

See directly after that vision of grandeur I stayed up working until midnight and then writing my blog cheer post until 2 AM.

When I awoke at 6:30 this morning and I stumbled to the bathroom, all the while wishing Starbucks had miraculously opened a new location in my living room, I looked in the mirror and to my dismay I realized that I had just been drunk with joy the night before – SERIOUSLY?! I had looked at myself and thought I looked presentable – for one my eyebrows are atrocious. I really need to pluck them, but before I could do that one of the twins peeks in and asks if he can have milk, and then my daughter comes in asking if her underwear is clean because she can’t find any underwear in her drawer.

Really?! She has about 35 to 40 pairs of underwear and on top of that she can’t tell me when she is down to her last pair so I know I have to make a load of whites a priority, okay so maybe that is asking too much of a 7 year-old. But do not despair my fellow readers; I had done the laundry and my trusty treadmill was displaying it for me. So in seconds I was able to produce the underwear, finish throwing on my clothes while my little Z man pleaded for milk and asked when we would be seeing Santa Claus. As my husband passes by me he asks when his parents can come by to which I have to rifle through our hectic schedule, of guitar, parent teacher conferences, Nutcracker rehearsal, Christmas Girl Scout Parade Walking, Dance Recital Watching, Tennis, etc. so that we can find a good time for them to actually see all 4 children in one place. This sets me back a good five minutes, but I do think we miraculously made the bed while we talked. I know, you can be impressed, it’s okay we are professionals at this multi-tasking gig.

Then Z man and I headed down the stairs, and he directly joins his older brother and sister in their search for Jackey, our elf on the shelf. I scramble to get milk and vitamins on the table and then pack two lunches that my children won’t eat. During lunch packing  I help lead them to finding the elf so that they will just sit down and eat their breakfast.

As I am rushing around grabbing clothes for the twins and helping my oldest brush his hair and my daughter get a sweatshirt – my little Z man is following me all the way whining mom, mom, mom, mom don’t leave me – where are we going – mom I need a hug, mom carry me, and finally to just complete meltdown because I won’t meet his every demand and answer his every question IMMEDIATELY. While Z man is melting down, my oldest is letting me know he needs $2 for his class party, so I am scrambling to get that and an envelope for him all the while listening to my youngest throw his mega tantrum because I didn’t carry him down the stairs.

Then while I help my daughter pack her backpack so that we can leave the house on time, I completely forget that I was supposed to go to Micheal’s. I know that the teacher gave us plenty of time get the materials on this list, but it was given to us right before the holidays when we went out of town and then my daughter was sick all week – anyway check out this list – I love her teacher, but seriously an art project with this many necessary supplies can’t really be worth it, can it?

(Sorry for the poor photos) I know first world problems, but Christmas Cookies – I think I should just buy stock in Micheal’s. I then ask my daughter to let her teacher know that we will get to Micheal’s to get the supplies and have them at school tomorrow, please tell your teacher I am VERY sorry for the delay.

As soon as that is taken care of; I go to wake up the other sleeping twinlet and get him downstairs so that I can get him bundled for our trip outdoors in the 26 degree California Freeze that we had this morning. All the while mind you Z man has not stopped crying. But I somehow manage to dress both boys and get us out the door.

We are rushing along because we left a bit late; and while I am rushing her along what I really want to do is revel in the ice and frost covering the houses, lawns and sidewalks but instead we are hustling our butts to school. When we get to school we are SECOND in line – this literally has never happened to us all year. So I hustled us for no good reason. Now we get to enjoy the cold while we wait for the second bell to ring so she can be led inside.

With the oldest kids off to school my husband and I take turns on conference calls so that we can get our work all done in between the “Can I have two candies out of my bag?” (Yes, we still have Halloween candy and I am fully aware that it is almost Christmas). “Can I have a dwink?” Can I have a snack?” “When are we going to see Santa?” “Does Santa have a sleigh?” “Can I play on yours iPad?” I also am pretty sure I changed 10 poopy diapers today; what they are eating I don’t know because anytime I put food out these days they take two bites and I really don’t think that all the goldfish crackers that they eat can really turn into that much crap – but I guess it’s a Christmas Miracle.

Anyway, as I am plugging along finally zipping through some projects after finishing my morning conference calls, At a about quarter to one my cell phone rings and it is the school nurse say that my oldest son has hit his head pretty hard and that he wants me to come get him. He told the nurse two different stories of how he got hurt so when we get to the car, I ask him for the real truth of what happened. Sure enough he had played hot lava (some kind of crazy tag game) with his friends and they were running toward the slide and his best friend bumped into him tin his hurry to get down the slide quickly – sheer accident – they were just running fast and when he slammed into the back of E; E hit his head on the top bar of the slide. He had a fantastic goose egg and already has a bit of a black eye. He didn’t tell the nurse what happened because he was worried his friend would get in trouble.

We swing by to pick up his sister from school, too because by the time we are all through she is out for the day as well. We head home where again I am on the phone for pretty much the rest of the day until 4:30 non-stop. The kids do two hours of homework. I beg my husband to pick up dinner on his way home from the vet – yes our dog has some virus she picked up from the kennel while we were gone, she will be fine – and he agrees. The man is a saint really.

While he is gone I bathe two of the kids, help with homework, and remember I should go to the bathroom because I don’t think I have gone since about 11 this morning. When he returns, I head out to deliver holiday cheer and come back to one child already in bed and another crying. So I put the twins to bed and then come down to another child crying because her homework is too hard, but luckily dad is saving the day; so I decide I should eat dinner before I forget.

I check work email; make another call and send a quick couple emails and go off to tuck the other two kidlets into bed and I remind myself that these are all first world problems, I have healthy kids, a great husband, running water, modern appliances, family for support and the warm showers I need to remember those things and be grateful, especially because I get to do this crazy, wild ride all over again tomorrow.

I’m imperfect and I’m enough – I just have to keep telling myself that.

P.S. please excuse the grammar mistakes on this one – i literally am falling asleep typing.